In The Eye of The Storm Janes Sunday Sermon
Hurricane Irene is barreling up the East Coast of the States as I am writing this to you and it is headed for New York City where I live.
Believe it or not, I have never been in a hurricane and I have no idea how one is supposed to behave in its wake.
I am behaving badly. I am a bundle of raw nerves with the constant chatter of the weather forecasters warning me to "Take this Seriously" so I keep trying not to laugh when Phil tells me jokes.
I am running around like a serious mad woman buying up bottles of water, cans of tuna, pita bread and salted peanuts. (I hate the unsalted kind)
I have weeks of food at the ready for the cats and for Cuddles and lots and lots of carrots for Cuddles. He munches one a day and I wouldn't want him to go without.
Right next to me is a pile of every conceivable size battery left on the shelves at Radio Shack. I have no idea if we have flash lights to go with them but if not then we will never run out of batteries so I guess there is a benefit to everything.
A battery operated radio sits on my computer desk.
I bought tape to criss- cross my large loft windows and then heard some expert on TV tell me that tape was useless.
I bought rolls of plastic sheeting to cover my large windows and the the sales person told me: "Lots of luck, lady. The windows will come crashing right through this stuff" That was after I paid, of course.
My son called to tell me that the army corps of engineers reported that it is likely NYC may be without electricity for two weeks or more. I told him to hang up and call again when he had better news.
I filled up huge lobster pots and stew pots with water in case the water tank goes out and I practiced taking ice cold sponge baths. Like a warrior in training, I was determined to see just how much cold I could take before I passed out.
Then I thought about my air conditioners that would be out in a power outage and wondered if there was a way I could bottled cold or at least take my cold bath water and feed it to the air conditioners.
Everything that could be in the way of a window getting blown out is now on the floor hidden behind some furniture shield.
I called my elderly Mom who is also out hording food and batteries and moving the furniture around. The Acorn doesn't fall very far from the tree. We are buying and hording all the same things:)
I put my passport in my pocketbook, piled in some lipstick and perfume although who is going to ask for my passport I am not quite sure.
For good measure, I ordered lox and bagels to be delivered on Friday from a fancy schmantzy store in NY called Zabars.
What the heck- if financial ruin or worse is the around the corner, I'm going down eating my favorite breakfast on Sunday Morning.
I thought about cooking breakfast, a kind of last supper breakfast and then realized my stove might not work on Sunday so I settled for hording fruit and pastries for Sunday brunch.
On Friday, I made sure that my hairdresser had every hair in place and my hands and feet were both manicured with something frosty and shiny. My manicurist keep telling me to "keep still."
"I can't" I said. "I'm too nervous"
"Well then, I cannot be responsible for your smeared nails when the end of the world comes" she replied smiling.
I told Phil that on Sunday morning we needed to pack up our computers which sit in front of huge windows overlooking Washington Square Park where the wind is sure to come speeding down Broadway and land directly on our two computers.
He said he would move them a little to the left so they didn't get a direct hit. He is not taking Irene seriously at all but then what do you expect from an Australian who has to deal with crocodiles daily. A Hurricane doesn't seem to ruffles his aligator shoes in any way what-so-ever.
I am trying to get my hands on a portable generator but I don’t' know what they look like or where to find one so I may put that on hold until after I really need it.
All in all I am finding being in the eye of the storm, nerve wracking, amusing, silly, serious, scary and not at all fun.
But... from a business stand point, I would sure like to be operating a mom and pop food store right now or a super market or Radio Shack or be a hairdresser or be a seller of a generator that does not rely on electricity.
While the rest of us worry, someone, somewhere is making out like a bandit and to an old, nervous, business woman, that makes me smile.
See you on the other side of Irene.
Jane Mark is not a hurricane hunter although in her next life she may want to become one. When she is not on hurricane watch, she runs an online advertising agency and is the President of Sokule, Inc. -> http://sokule.com/